Specialist practice for systemic couples counseling in English
Systemic thinking is a holistic approach that helps you not to get lost in details, but rather to keep an eye on the connections. Through a special advisory conversation, strengths are intended to be strengthened and approaches to solutions increase like snowballs rolling down a mountain and ultimately spread to such an extent that problems become less significant in comparison.
What does systemic mean?
Solutions can arise both at the behavioral/perceptual level and through a change of perspective that enables a new look at the existing problems. During the consultation, new perspectives can be developed that help to experience the complaint situation differently and to deal with it differently.
A solution-oriented approach is not about an over-optimistic philosophy of feasibility, but rather about recognizing where changes are possible and should be striven for. Where there are unchangeable, perhaps fateful, limitations (such as a serious illness, job loss, etc.), you can learn how to best deal with the limitations by changing your attitude.
- What is a system? - It is a construct (a tool for making work easier) consisting of relationships, communications and actions - generated by the people (the system environment) that make up this system.
- People emerge in systems - they form systems from the first minute of conception and behave completely differently in different systems.
- Thinking systemically means thinking circularly - everything has a mutual influence on each other. There are therefore no clear “causes” or “culprits”, only involvements of different types and varying degrees.
- Systemic thinking means thinking in terms of effects - we can always choose freely, but we take responsibility for the consequences of our actions.
- Systemic thinking is goal-oriented, not "cause" and past-oriented - the problem has nothing to do with the solution.
- People think in their own patterns - as consultants, we help to interrupt the customer's less helpful thought patterns, or more precisely, to find new ones.
- Problem solutions can be stimulated by helpful disruption from outside - as consultants, we always take responsibility for the intensity and type of disruption.
- Systemic work means process work - the customer remains an expert for the content (problem and solution world), while the coach is responsible for designing the process.
- We work in the advisory system, not in the home system - in coaching with the customer we can only develop measures for their life; we can't live his life with him.
Influence of methods
In addition to Michael Mary's method “Experiential Counseling with Couples”, Virginia Satir's ideas are also incorporated.
Virginia Satir (born June 26, 1916, Neillsville, Wisconsin (USA); † September 10, 1988, California (USA)) was one of the most important family therapists. She is often referred to as the mother of family therapy.
The following quote reflects your way of thinking and working.
“I wish that we all live as fully as we can. The only time I feel truly terrible is when people haven't lived lives that were an expression of themselves. They've lived with all these "I shoulds" and "I shoulds" and recriminations and reassurances and all that stuff, and I think to myself, "How sad."
Virginia Satir gave top priority to interpersonal relationships and respect for self and others. Every person depends on relationships and cannot exist alone. She also emphasized interdependence and the fact that everything we do reflects back on ourselves. Like other proponents of humanistic psychology, Virginia Satir assumed that when we grow up and live in positive conditions that promote growth, we are fundamentally good, creative, productive, and loving. For them, growth, development and change were the essential characteristics of life itself. Every person is born with a very specific potential that distinguishes them from all other people and makes them unique.
The four satirical types
1 – Appease; 2 – Accusations; 3 – Distract; 4 – Streamline.
The satirical basic beliefs
- There is a life force or a world spirit that is effective in many dimensions and also influences our behavior.
- Every person is a valuable part of creation
- Every person is unique and beautiful.
- For many people, the inner riches can be buried very deeply.